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Bad Girls do it Best!

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I am not one of those men that can’t wait to go out and get a Thai massage when I get off the plane, but my wife does enjoy it so occasionally. So I go along, I guess that I am always looking for that great massage that will make me want to come back or the answer to why so many people seek out the masseuse in Chiang Mai. The following is a short breakdown of some my experiences seeking out that “great massage”

I almost always feel I am beaten up after a massage, maybe that is part of the experience or it could be that I am missing the boat on the total experience. For 10 years every winter, we would go to various parts of Thailand and we usually check out the body ponders while traveling. So we know the many places and many to avoid.

We formed some of our basic guidelines to a great massage:

1) 2 hour massage minimum. We have tried out the hour ones but found them rushed to get the whole body done. I do not have a large body, kind on the skinny side.

2) In all of the cases I asked for the work not to be too hard on me, no deep, deep punching.

3) We found the prep before and after to be of great importance, did they rush us out, or sit us down for a green tea after. Were our feet washed prior to starting? Was there some of that awful frogs croaking, water splashing sound track being played over and over, or elevator music, for two hours?.

One of the sadist places was down south we came across a place that was run by the blind and thought that without the use of sight the rub down might have a different angle to it.  I was right on with this assumption; being sightless the man that worked on me spent most of his time on the cell phone, and cut the hour short so he could call someone else. I think his hearing was at an enlightened level. He did think he was entitled to special compensation from is client because he was blind.

I guessed someone that has lots of time; few distractions might deliver a better Thai massage. So we sought out a place that was just that a Thai prison, yes The Chiang Mai  Women’s Correctional Facility  to more polite. It is known for it Bad women, murders, drug dealers, thieves, and the like. So I guessed they had lots of time. It fit the bill, as one of the best places we could think of where the masseuses have lots of free time and few distractions. The women’s prison is in Downtown Chiang Mai, behind the marriage registrar’s office, a fact hat did not loss its irony on me.  Here it was a place where the workers had all of the time in the world. The inmates working here were on a soon to be released work program to pick up a trade before being released. Under the careful supervision of my wife we went down to the prison while just outside the walls, and had one of the best massages of all our years of searching. Try it out; the price is right, no flashy insides, no music, and just some great work with no rush.

Sadly the lady I had do my massage was not a murder but a simple shoplifter of makeup no less.

Most of the fun is from the adventure of finding the perfect massage; there are many good ones and a few not so good. Get out and find out what makes up a great massage for you.

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